Paradigm shift

I went and saw Dr. Yuwen Lee (my naturopath/dietician/supplements specialist) yesterday and confessed… I had fallen off the bandwagon several times and had indulged in some gluten, dairy, coffee, soy, corn, potato, salad and fruit… all the yummy things that are on my list of foods to avoid.

I’ve seen myself slip several times since June, but have managed to justify that if I eat really well 99% of the time, then surely that soy latte on the weekend isn’t going to kill me. And plus, on special occasions it doesn’t count (“It’s a wedding! It’s good luck to eat some of the cake!”)…

But what I have noticed is that as soon as I eat some of the forbidden things, my body is much more sensitive to them. I bloat almost immediately, and feel lethargic and sometimes constipated the next day, as I am sure my digestive system has hit overload and is trying to process everything that I have just consumed. My greatest discovery is that the little belly pudge that I have had since I was 16 years old (fondly known as my ‘Buddha Belly’ – rub for good luck!) actually is a result of being in a constant bloated state! What I thought was my “body issue” that I wasted countless years trying to destroy through ab workouts and spanx is actually combated by avoiding gluten and dairy! Wow, what I have put my body through!

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Breaking The Rules

jellybelly

So this happened last week… I broke the rules. My “healthy eating” diet rules that is.

I had a crappy week – personally and professionally – and as Hump Day approached, I was feeling sorry for myself, staring at the giant 50 flavours of Jelly Belly jelly beans that had been gifted to me about 3 months ago in my office and thought, “Why the hell not?”. I should be proud that I held out from opening them for 3 months! But hey, I cracked and ate all of the “Berry Blue” flavour in one hit (you can see the missing jelly beans in the 2nd row).

Post-consumption, I felt guilty and proceeded to rope in my colleagues into my shame spiral by getting them to play the Jelly Belly game, where I would give them a jelly bean and they would have to guess the flavour. Guilt is better when you share it!

The next day after my jelly belly scandal, I felt fine. Totally fine! I was surprised, but acknowledged that I felt this good because 99.9% of the time I eat totally healthily to support my Crohn’s and my digestive system. What was a handful of processed sugar?

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Chucking a Sickie

I have surgery booked tomorrow, and I am surprisingly calm about it… mind you, I have been waking up at 5.30am for the past 2 days and having wildly crazy dreams, but surely that’s just a coincidence? Or maybe it’s the fact that I will have tomorrow off from work and potentially Monday and Tuesday off as well… I haven’t told work that I am going in for surgery though, I am just going to fake a flu. Less questions, less dramas to deal with. I’ve just been given a leadership position at school this term upon my return after 3 months away, so I don’t want to start ringing any alarm bells about my situation again. And fortunately for me, a lady who shares my office has been really sick with the flu (but still has been coming into school!) and all week I’ve been dropping comments like “Oh no, I think you’re getting me sick too!” or “You should stay home, I’m on immunosuppressants and if I get sick, it’ll be twice as bad!”…

I know this all sounds incredibly dishonest, and usually I advocate for the “you are the first priority – look after your health!” side regardless of what’s happening in your life, but I just want to get in and out of surgery and pray that I recover super quick so I can get back to normal.
In reality, I will be staying the night at the hospital to deal with the pain, all weekend I will be sleeping and dealing with the pain, and when Monday comes around, I probably still will not be able to walk. Then I’ll have to come up with some excuse around work about why I am hobbling around… it’s actually going to be really fucked now that I properly look at it… I probably should’ve told them I was going in for surgery.

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Fitness Freak

After sharing my recent bath time story to my surgeon on Tuesday, I am happy to say that he was impressed that my body is clearing itself. YAY!

Bad news is, he still wants to operate next week. BOO!

Basically what’s happened is where my first abscess was earlier this year, well, the cavity that held the abscess is still there. It has left a large, hardened, empty mass under my skin that is the size of a 20 cent piece. Anyway, that cavity needs to be removed now. The risk is that if it stays there, it could potentially fill up again to form a new abscess. Alternatively, I leave it, but deal with the fact that I have this bizarre growth that makes everything look asymmetrical down there. So I agreed with him about having it removed.

To be honest, the surgery didn’t need to be rushed anytime soon, but I was thinking about all my wonderful friends’ weddings coming up in the next couple of months, and I figure, the sooner I do the surgery, the sooner I’ll be up and running. Get it over and done with!

But then this week I noticed something – in my yoga class, I was holding poses longer, even trying some of the harder ones… I felt STRONGER… and then tonight at my basketball game, I played a whole 40 minute game without taking a break and felt good and wasn’t out of breath…I felt FITTER… and then as I was driving home from the game, it dawned on me that by going into surgery next week, I will be out of action for 3-4 weeks which means that I won’t feel this amazing strength in my body for another long while.

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Quinoa…more like Quin-WAH!

Red_quinoa
I ate quinoa for lunch on Tuesday. It’s now Friday and I am STILL seeing remnants of it in my poop! What the hell is that about? It is soooo tiny, I figured they would be easy to break up in the body? Or are the scraping out the insides of my intestines as they flow through? And how is it possible that after so many days since eating it, I am still finding traces of it???!? Surely that’s not a good sign, is it? And P.S, corn does the same thing – the kernels come out just as they went it!

(10 minutes later after consulting my oracle, Google)
Ah ha! It’s all good apparently! According to several online sources, fibrous foods such as quinoa help bulk up your poo and typically show up intact upon evacuation.

Here are some goods links to tell you what your different poops mean based on their consistency, frequency and colour:

7 Things Your Poop Says about You

What Your Poo Says about You

Don’t be afraid to keep checking out your poops – they might be telling you some important messages about what’s happening within your guts. Plus, it’s kinda funny to observe!

Stimulation you Don’t Want

Stimulation that you don’t want…

Caffeine isn’t so great for your guts if you’ve got Crohn’s Disease or any other inflammatory bowel disease… gives you the liquoops and makes things feel a little too intense in your midsection. This article outlines some issues associated with caffeine, especially causing a laxative effect and being quite acidic – doesn’t make your guts feel too good. What I found interesting is that caffeine increases your stress hormone levels which actually divert blood from your digestive system! Yikes!

For years I had noticed that caffeine and I didn’t get along – if I had black tea or a coffee, it would actually cause a red flushing of my face, which in Chinese medicine is called Liver Yang and relates to your liver function (under a lot of pressure from all my meds anyway), a leaky gut or digestive issue – BINGO! Ticking all boxes here! Caffeine would also stimulate me – and not in that “I-am-functioning-at-the speed-of-light” type of stimulation that gets you through the day and makes you uber efficient, but it would make me have the runs… Never a good option for someone with Crohn’s who already has pooping issues! Plus, people with bowel problems should avoid drinking anything with a diuretic effect at all costs, I mean, we are already not absorbing vitamins and other vital elements through our guts, do we want to add dehydration to the mix?

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Me and Women’s Health Magazine

The embarrassment… Women’s Health Magazine

A friend of a friend who used to work for Women’s Health magazine approached me at the beginning of 2013 and asked whether she could write about my Crohn’s story. She wanted to use me because I was stable in remission, even CURED I had thought. I had bragged to a few people that my Crohn’s no longer existed within me – I believed this because I had no symptoms, I felt good (so good, I even stopped taking my medication), colonoscopies couldn’t find any Crohn’s in my body, blood tests looked positive, I had met some cool people in Bali who taught me how to heal myself with healthy food and water and how to use positive language to say “I HAD Crohn’s” (past tense), and was finally so convinced that I was so in tune with my body that if something did start to flare, I would know about it immediately and would be able to manage it.

So I agreed to do this article, and it was the first time I had ever openly talked about having Crohn’s. Writing the history of how it all began, my symptoms, my treatments and how far I had come was a huge breaking of the barrier I had put up to protect myself from the embarrassment of having a disease and feeling abnormal to begin with! While I typed up my story before hitting ‘send’ I began to sob uncontrollably – it was the release I had needed after years of keeping it all a secret. Don’t get me wrong, friends and family knew I had Crohn’s, but they didn’t know how much I actually suffered with it. They didn’t know the gory details of my symptoms, didn’t know how many operations I had, how I used to be in so much pain after a bowel movement… I hid it from everyone. [Read more…]

Uncertainty…

Not feeling so good. Crohn’s is all about this. You feel great one moment, and then not so great in the next.

Image

It’s the uncertainty of it all that drives me insane. As soon as you switch to “I’m not feeling so good” mode, you start to panic… you retrace your steps: what did I eat today? was it something I ate yesterday? what did I do differently? was my tummy not full enough before I took my meds? do I need to drink more water? should I take a Panadol? did I poo enough today? did I poo too much today?… it can be quite alarming that in the back of your head all of these thoughts evolve and no matter how much you try to distract yourself, you’re still constantly thinking about how you’re feeling. Note to self, do more meditation…maybe that’ll clear the crazy questions and feelings?

I’ve been noticing some symptoms showing in the last 2 days. You know, that feeling when your body doesn’t feel quite right. I’ve been feeling low on energy, had some swelling in the “downstairs” area, my stomach has been bloated and makes these squeaking and growling noises… So immediately I am in panic mode. I’ve been doing well since my relapse and now I’m like, shiiiitttttt…..

This is my thought process when I notice that things are going off track from my “feeling better and healthy” path;

First thought: FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!! What’s happenening? Oh my God oh my god oh my god, shiiiiiiiiittttttttt…. (insert aforementioned crazy questions and retracing of the day at this point)

Second thought: OK! Ok, ok… you can do this girl. It’s ok. Breathe. Ok. You can handle this. It gets worse before it gets better (Who the hell came up with this phrase? I don’t believe it) but you’re ok. Ok. How can you manage this now?

Third thought: I’m calling EVERYONE to get help!

So today I called my surgeon and made an appointment for next Tuesday (the earliest appointment that they could accommodate. Can always cancel if things settle down), I called my gastroenterologist and made an appointment for this Thursday (AWESOME! ) contacted my Acupuncturist to squeeze me in for an additional appointment (I’ve got one booked for Saturday morning already).

All bases covered. It might be totally nothing (might actually be that whole “it gets worse before it gets better” situation…hmmmm….) but at least I am super more reactive about it. I’m so aware of my body at this stage that, if it doesn’t feel right, most likely something isn’t right. I’ve had to learn the hard way of course (if you remember my blog about my recent relapse, I was ignoring the different symptoms that were showing) so now I don’t wait around. I can always cancel appointments if it is just a “bad day”. This is all possible because I am not yet back at work. If I was at work right now, I would probably hesitate to make every appointment under the sun because my work just can’t accommodate me leaving so regularly throughout the week. So if you’re having a flare, or some weird symptoms, just make the call and make the ONE appointment you know can give you the answers you need to ease your panic.

In the meantime, I hope there is a Crohn’s doctor out there who is opening a clinic which takes appointments after work hours and on a Saturday. You would have a fuckload of business, I promise! For me, being able to balance my “normal” life (work and socialising) with my ‘Crohn’s” life is crucial for my well-being. It’s a control thing. It’s my thing. If I can do everything else that makes me feel normal, AND deal with Crohn’s, then I will certainly heal better.

At the end of the day, do what you have to do to make yourself better, whether it’s rest or seeing your doctor. Don’t let things get worse. Uncertainty is not a great place to be in to help you deal and heal… Wish me luck!

My recent relapse, and how I got through it…

I had a relapse with my Crohn’s about 3 months ago now, and my best friend, noticing that it had hit me really hard, encouraged me to start writing this blog. It was amazing how this recent relapse threw me! I had been in remission for 3 years (that is, 3 years ago I had a small external abscess near my anus that needed clearing – I say this is ‘minor’ surgery because they didn’t need to enter within!) and before then, the end of 2009 to the middle of 2010, was probably my worst year dealing with pain, where after a bowel movement I couldn’t move for about 3 hours from the pain, and if I had to go to work, I swallowed as many painkillers as I could safely consume and just walked really slowly, or sat on a pillow. So all up, I was kinda in “remission” for 4 years…

So when things got bad in February this year, I was shocked! I thought I had overcome the Crohn’s! I thought I had tricked it into staying in remission forever…wishful bloody thinking! I didn’t have the typical symptoms that tell me that things are going badly – stomach cramping, puss, diarrhea, bloody stools, fever… But the symptoms I did have included the following:

Frequent bloating. This type of bloating is the kind that makes you look 5 months pregnant, where it’s painful to sit or stand because you feel like your insides are going to explode from within, or it feels like you are wearing a corset around your midsection that is cutting off circulation to your organs…it’s a tight, horrible band of discomfort around your stomach that even makes your back hurt…and you just can’t get rid of it for the whole day!
But I had explanations for those… that time of the month, or I ate something funny, or I’m constipated… I kept finding justifications, instead of realising this was a NEW way that my body was telling me that I wasn’t well.

Regular constipation. Not doing a poo for a day is not really considered constipation. Not pooing for a day and then feeling the urge and NOTHING comes out even though you are pushing or taking heaps of laxatives, and you find yourself praying to the Gods while on the porcelain throne, THAT is constipation. Squatting helps, so that you don’t burst anything by pushing too much… just saying… But I too had an explanation for this – I didn’t drink enough water today, I ate too much pasta, I haven’t done enough exercise, I’ve been sitting too much at work, my stricture is flaring… once again, didn’t realise that this was a whole new way of showing me my Crohn’s was active.

Tired. I felt so goddamn tired! I could barely make it through a day at work! I had naps during my lunch break or free period (I’m a teacher) and developed a love of coffee (with soy milk of course). But my explanation for that was that I was stressed (I was planning a wedding after all), or had a cold, or had a big weekend and I’m older now so it takes me longer to recover… I even went and did a blood test because I realised something was wrong, maybe I was anaemic? Maybe I needed more iron or vitamin D (everyone with Crohn’s has a Vitamin D deficiency as that’s part of the autoimmune problem), and the results showed that there was inflammation in my body (high white blood cell count) but I had the flu or a sore throat, so that made sense…right? hmmmm…. wake up girl!

I didn’t realise that over a 6 month period, my body was SCREAMING at me that things weren’t right. I was in denial land again… I hate that place, but keep going back to it. I was looking for all the OTHER symptoms that I usually experience to tell me my Crohn’s was flaring, and not realising that these were NEW symptoms that I now need to watch out for. I now know that if ANYTHING doesn’t feel right in my body, then it’s probably the Crohn’s and I have to get back to diligent managing!

So when I woke up one Friday morning in a lot of pain down there, I’d noticed that I had (I’m not shitting you now…) grown what appeared to be a testicle overnight. My left labia was REALLY swollen. I was like, that’s weird… did I sleep in a funny position? Did I get too freaky with my husband? Was I bitten by something? Hmmm… why don’t I just see what happens with it tomorrow (denial to deal with it now situation). I spent the day at work, and any opportunity I had to sit down, I would have my legs elevated (because that helps reduce swelling in weird areas, right?). On Saturday morning (I was acting quickly this time! The very next day!) I made an appointment with my GP at lunch time because the swelling became super painful, that even wearing underwear was too much! I casually sat on the couch with an ice pack between my legs until it was time to go to the doctor. As soon as she examined me, she told me I need to go into hospital because I had a Bartholin’s cyst that needed to be incised immediately. Bartholin’s cysts are apparently a very common affliction in women – 1 in 50 get one. It’s a gland near the vaginal opening that can get blocked, and when it does, pain and swelling ensue. I comically texted my girlfriends on the way to emergency with my husband, to tell them that they were now safe, because I had gotten the Bartholin’s cyst for the group.

Anyway, spent the night in hospital, they opened the cyst and left in some dissolvable stitches to help with drainage, and Sunday I was home. No biggie. Got a medical certificate for the week because I would need that time to recover and avoid being on my feet (my whole job!) in case gravity took it’s toll and made things more swollen. Sweet! Week off work!

Pffttt…that excitement lasted a whole 3 days… on Wednesday the swelling became worse. It doubled in size and turned beetroot red. I could barely sit down. I’d have to lie down with pillows underneath my legs to get comfortable. I couldn’t walk. On Thursday I went back to my GP who actually looked scared when she had a look down there… never a settling experience when your own doctor looks freaked out by the situation! She called my gynaecologist for me and made me an appointment with him the next day. It totally annoys me that when you call your specialist, it takes at least 3 months for you to get in, but if another doctor calls on your behalf, suddenly there is an opening??! Go figure… so on a side note, if something is flaring, go to your GP and get them to call a specialist for you!

When I saw my gynaecologist the next day, he confirmed that there was some whack infection happening post-surgery. He prescribed me Flagyl and Kefflex (super strong antibiotics) and gave me his personal mobile number. He said if I got a fever, then to go to emergency, otherwise, I would see him on Monday for surgery to incise it…again.
Over the weekend, I had a massive fever. Unfortunately, it was Mardi Gras weekend (party time) and I knew that if I went to emergency at St. Vincent’s (right next to Kings Cross!) I wouldn’t be seen until Monday anyway! So I got a script of Endone, texted my gyne about the situation, and lay on the couch the whole weekend.

On Monday I check into surgery. My gynaecologist wanted to get a gastro surgeon to have a look at me too, considering my history of Crohn’s disease. I was like, “oh, it’s not the Crohn’s. My vagina is the problem now…it’s not the Crohn’s”. I did an MRI (loud, bloody machine to lie inside for 30 minutes) and turns out WAHOO! It is the Crohn’s (total sarcasm)!  Turns out I had a a couple of abscesses – one in the labia and one in the perineum, and I had fistulae forming, which are little tracks or tunnels through your tissue that lead to infection and abscesses. Turns out, a long fistula was running from my colon into my labia. Fucking great. So now my Crohn’s had spread into my woman’s zone. Absolute DISASTER!

And that’s how my recent relapse totally screwed me over. I felt like my body had betrayed me. It didn’t give me my typical symptoms that raise the red flag for me to look after myself more carefully. I physically recovered from the incident (after 3 surgeries and insertion of setons), but emotionally I didn’t. I felt shame and embarrassment. I felt scared that I didn’t see it coming and that it had spread. I didn’t feel sexy anymore. I cried everyday. I screamed into pillows and wallowed deep in self-pity. And it was during this time that I depended on EVERYONE around me to help me feel strong again. The most important thing to have in your life if you’re dealing with illness is to have a support network of family and friends. Because no matter how positive you are, I can attest that you can lose that in an instant, and it can take you a while to get back on your feet (figuratively and literally). If it wasn’t for people reminding me that I’ll get through it, and that I can get better again, and lots of acupuncture (upped my sessions to 3 times a week), I would’ve stayed in my misery hole for much much longer. And this is also how this blog was born. It has been really therapeutic.

So this is what I suggest, that worked for me, on how to deal with a relapse:

1.Get angry. Super, hyperventilating type of anger. Scream, curse, pound your fists into your pillow. Pace the room aggressively.
But don’t let the anger last too long, because it’s exhausting and makes things worse for your healing in the long run.

2. Cry your eyes out. Lose yourself to the sadness and shame. Get it all out. All the emotion. Let your soul release it to the universe. And don’t give yourself an unrealistic time frame to get over it! Don’t say, ok, I am only going to feel bad for 2 more days. No. You need more time. It might be a week, or even a month – be realistic for yourself.

3. Have family and friends around you to support you. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was let people know I was unwell and that I needed help. I hid being sick for years so well from people, that even yesterday a good mate of mine of 10 years said he had no idea I even had Crohn’s! Call your friends and family and TELL them that you need them, because you’re having a hard time. Find the strength to do this, because it really helps when you are totally down and need to see that light at the end of the tunnel again.
And look at me now! I’m writing a blog sharing EVERYTHING! Now I’m just shouting to the world that I have Crohn’s! It sucks to have it, but hey, that’s just how it is.

4. Find your determination again. Hard to do at times, but it’s in there. After the emotional release, I was determined to do what ever was possible to get me back on track- I took time off work, slept as much as I needed, met with my naturopath, my holistic medicine doctor, got more acupuncture and energetic healing sessions, met with multiple gastroenterologists to find out different treatment options and tried those options, researched about drinking camel’s milk (yes, this is a thing: http://www.camelmilkmagic.com/), I tried aromatherapy, did food allergy tests, had salt baths twice a day, started a blog, started taking vitamins and supplements, and got massages to help me relax (essential therapy I swear!). Do whatever version of these things that you can do to get you in a positive direction towards healing.

5. Change your diet. Just do it. Cut out gluten, dairy and sugar. These elements are inflammatory. It’s hard to do because everything that tastes amazing has either gluten, dairy or sugar, or all three in them! But it is totally possible and I will write a blog about other beautiful options to eat. Avoid raw foods too (too harsh to digest) and don’t drink coffee.

6. Create a new mental checklist of ADDITIONAL symptoms that you now have to look out for. It sucks, but will keep you prepared for next time!

7. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for not paying attention to the symptoms. Forgive yourself for not dealing with it sooner. It’s ok to be vulnerable. Say lovely things to yourself (and believe them of course) such as “I’m ok”, “I’m going to get through this”. Allow yourself the time to feel better, and pamper yourself to feel special. Don’t feel like a failure. And be alright with staying at home if you need to take it easy – be ok with saying “no” to people. Don’t push yourself too hard.

And guess what… before you know it, you’re recovering and moving towards remission again. It’s taken me 3 months to properly feel like I am physically, emotionally and psychologically better. I am dealing, and I am healing. And you can too. Remember that you’ve been healthier before, and you can get back to that place, it just requires some love and support for yourself and from others, and some determination to do everything humanly possible to get super well. Good luck xx

P.S My husband just likened this post to me writing the next Game of Thrones book. Sorry they’re so long! hahaha

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3…

Yesterday, a friend of mine told me that they think they may have Crohn’s Disease after speaking with a doctor about their symptoms. She’s nervous about undergoing the necessary tests to confirm for sure, which is totally understandable. No-one likes to do blood tests, or collect their poo over a couple of days in little jars to send away. Or drinking barium (similar to drinking cement, and pooping out cement too!) to show contrast in an MRI scan to see where inflammation is.

And don’t even get me started about having a colonoscopy! Yeah sure, you are under General so you don’t feel them shoving a camera up your pooper, but for anyone who has ever done one of these tests, they know what I’m talking about when it comes to the preparation of a colonoscopy. Firstly, the day BEFORE the colonoscopy, you have to go on a clear liquids diet, which basically means you just drink water. You can’t have anything that is red or green in colouring (I think that these colours stain the colon and can confuse doctors as to what they are really looking at) or anything with sugar in it because sugar inflames the gut. Now, spending a whole day fasting from food and just drinking water doesn’t sound too bad – but it is because you do this while you have to drink this disgusting mixture called PicoPrep, which is just the fancy name for AGGRESSIVE LAXATIVE! You get given 3 of these sachets, including the timings of when to take them, which depends on when you are having your colonoscopy the next day – a morning colonoscopy requires you to finish the sachets the day before, and an afternoon colonoscopy likes you to spread the trauma of drinking one more sachet into the morning of the procedure. Now the first time you drink it, it doesn’t taste so bad… it has a lemony salty flavour to it… but it’s what it DOES to you that makes you HATE drinking it! I’m talking violent diarrhea (up to 30 times in the day! I’m sure there is some gross world record about how often you shit from your colonoscopy prep!), bloating, cramping, shooting pains through your guts… you feel exhausted from going to the bathroom so often, not to mention if you don’t have 3-ply toilet paper or more, your butt suffers! I will NEVER buy cheap toilet paper! I may go broke buying the 3000 count Egyptian cotton equivalent to toilet paper, but my god will it be worth it!
So after you feel like you’ve emptied every possible substance that exists in your body, and you go to bed hungry, crampy, exhausted and wishing never to see a toilet again (even though you may have to wake up in the middle of the night and still have to run to the loo), you wake up the day of your procedure and then have to fast completely from water for 6 hours before you go into hospital. And let me tell you, hospitals don’t trust anyone! Even if you’ve been there a million times to the point where the nurses and doctors are like, “Welcome back!” (they should give me a loyalty card… every 10th visit should be free!) they still will NOT take your word that you haven’t had anything to eat or drink since midnight, and will keep you waiting around for a couple more hours. By this stage, you are ready to shred the hospital staff’s faces off… I’ve actually gotten so worked up in hospitals before different surgeries or procedures because of being overtired, in pain, dehydrated and hungry (definitely I am a ‘HANGRY’ person) that I’ve abused staff, sobbed hysterically and have even been held down and sedated! Obviously in hindsight, that’s just a shitty thing to do to people who are working to help you, but hey, I’m human… meltdowns are part of my DNA. And to be fair, I haven’t had a tantrum in a hospital in a while (*cough* 3 months *cough*)… my bad.

Anyway, colonoscopies are seriously awful. I hate them. But at the end of the day, you need them! You need them so that you can know for sure what’s going on inside you. You need to know what needs fixing. The alternative is avoiding finding out what’s happening and having terrible pain, diarrhea, blood, constipation and feeling like your guts are going to explode from the inside. Having 2 days of fasting and horrible diarrhea isn’t REALLY that bad of a trade off. Complain how bloody awful they are (start a blog like this one!), bitch and moan to everyone about it… get it all out of your system because you just HAVE to do it. Just get on with it, deal with it, and get it done. It is better to know for sure what the state of your insides are so that you can start doing whatever is necessary to get better and to start healing.

Besides, you get to keep the pictures of your colon from the procedure as a souvenir! Who doesn’t want that? hahaha